by  Catherine Pfister, MSW, LCSW

Purpose: Learn to contain anger; develop impulse control; facilitate emotional expression regarding feeling out of control or rageful

Modality: Individual

Age Range: 4 years – 14 years

Materials: Puppets, miscellaneous toys & play media

Description: “Gabriel”, age 7, came into our third session with anger radiating off him. He proceeded to his favorite seat and swiveled it around so that his back and the back of his chair faced me. I noted to him that he wanted me to see his back today. I remembered an earlier call I had received from his foster mother saying that she had been asked to pick him up early that day because he had grown so angry at his teacher, Mr. B, that he was shoving desks and throwing chairs in the classroom. The teacher, the foster mother, and Gabriel seemed overwhelmed by the depth of Gabriel’s rage – and afraid of it.

I asked Gabriel if he would like to pick a feeling from the feeling chart, part of our beginning ritual. He did not answer. I then asked if I could guess his feeling by picking a feeling from the feeling chart. He nodded his head and I picked out anger. Gabriel then listened intently as I added fear and hurt to the picks. We then sat in silence for a few moments as I breathed deeply and slowly; hoping modeling this would help Gabriel feel safe and calm enough to want to engage in our session.

After a few moments, Gabriel’s posture seemed to soften and then stiffen again as he said: “Mr. B is NOT the boss of me!”

“Who is the boss of you?” I asked. Silence. I then responded to my own question by stating, “You’re the boss of you.” Gabriel swiveled the chair a little more toward me – he was curious.

“It can be hard being the boss of your own self.” I continued. “Telling your hands, your feet, and mouth what to do and having them listen.” He swiveled around to face me completely. “Yeah”, he replied.

“How about we practice?” I asked. We proceeded to have puppets boss their feet, their hands, and their mouths to not hit, not kick, not yell, not swear, and not spit. Sometimes, my puppet would get really angry and forget. Then, Gabriel would remind my puppet that she was the “boss” of her feet or mouth.

We continued to use this paradoxical, metaphorical intervention throughout the remainder of Gabriel’s treatment. We played it out in the dollhouse and with art, as well as with the puppets. Since that time, I have found this technique very useful for children who have trouble containing their anger, controlling impulses, and feeling out of control with their own rage.

 

About the Author: Catherine Pfister, MSW, LCSW, is a therapist in private practice in Oakland, CA with a focus on play therapy and sandplay. She works in English and Spanish and also has provided clinical supervision to play therapy interns working in school settings. Catherine is currently the President of the San Francisco Bay Area Chapter of the California Association for Play Therapy.